Scientific evidence, practical experience and recent developments all point in the same direction: the problem is rarely the conflict itself, but rather the way in which it is handled. Organisations that view conflicts as a source of information and development, rather than as something to be avoided at all costs, are found to achieve more sustainable solutions and better collaboration.
“Conflicts are always bad.”
In reality, conflicts can lead to better cooperation, innovation and learning when they are dealt with constructively and avoided.
“Conflicts should be avoided.”
Avoiding the issue rarely solves anything and often increases tension in the long run. By avoiding them, there is no opportunity to understand each other’s interests, and in the long run this will only contribute to escalation and unnecessary tensions.
“The aim is to win or get the result we want.”
Effective conflict management focuses on understanding the interests and needs of those involved, rather than on winning an argument. Based on an analysis of needs, the parties seek solutions that all parties can agree on (WIN-WIN).
“Emotions are a problem.”
Emotions are valuable signals. Recognising and acknowledging them, and creating a space to discuss them, often prevents situations from escalating. Furthermore, emotions are human traits and an automatic response of the brain and the nervous system.
“Conflicts are personal.”
Many conflicts arise from unclear expectations, work pressure, processes or organisational structures, not from the personalities of those involved.
“A conflict is resolved as soon as an agreement has been reached.”
Sustainable solutions also require the restoration of trust, clear communication and follow-up. In practice, many agreements turn out to be superficial compromises based on an insufficient understanding of everyone’s interests and concerns. Without the restoration of trust, the same tensions will resurface later (and usually in a more serious form).
“Good leaders prevent conflicts.”
Effective leaders do not prevent all conflicts; they ensure that conflicts can be discussed safely, promptly and constructively. Research also shows that conflict management can be learnt, for example through emotional intelligence and communication skills.
The biggest misconception is that conflicts are the problem. In reality, it is destructive conflict management that is the main problem.
Given that we know conflicts are not harmful in themselves, but that it is primarily poor conflict management that leads to escalation, the next question is obvious: how do we ensure that people learn to deal with conflicts constructively?
Scientific research shows that conflict management skills are not an innate talent, but competencies that can be developed. Conflict management training enhances, amongst other things, active listening, seeing things from another’s perspective, emotional regulation, negotiation and problem-solving thinking. These skills ensure that conflicts are less likely to escalate and more often lead to sustainable solutions. Organisations that invest in such training programmes also report higher levels of psychological safety, greater trust within teams and fewer long-standing interpersonal conflicts.
However, training is not always enough. When a conflict has already escalated or the relationship of trust between the parties has been seriously damaged, it is often difficult for the parties involved to reach a solution on their own. At that point, an independent, accredited mediator can play a crucial role.
Research into ‘mediation’ shows that a neutral third party can restore communication, bring underlying interests to light and help parties move from fixed positions towards joint solutions. The added value of a accredited A mediator’s role lies not only in their expertise, but also in their independence, confidentiality and methodical approach. As a result, the parties are more likely to perceive the process as fair, which increases their willingness to honour agreements and paves the way for future cooperation.
Conflicts will never disappear entirely from organisations. However, we can choose to equip people with the skills to deal with them constructively and to provide an independent framework when they are no longer able to do so themselves. According to the academic literature, it is precisely this combination of prevention (training) and intervention (accredited mediation) that forms the basis of a mature and sustainable conflict management policy.
Scientific evidence
This blog is based on insights from the academic literature on conflict management, organisational psychology, negotiation and mediation. The main references are:
- Deutsch, M. (1973). The Resolution of Conflict.
Groundbreaking work which demonstrates that conflicts are not necessarily negative and that the way in which conflicts are dealt with determines the outcome. - Thomas, K.W. & Kilmann, R.H. (1974). Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). **
Demonstrates that people use different styles of conflict resolution and that these skills can be developed. - Pruitt, D.G. & Rubin, J.Z. (1986). Social Conflict: Escalation, Stalemate, and Settlement.
Describes how conflicts arise, escalate and how constructive solutions can be found. - Fisher, R., Ury, W. & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to Yes.
Emphasises the importance of negotiating on the basis of interests rather than positions. - Ury, W., Brett, J. & Goldberg, S. (1988). Getting Disputes Resolved.
Demonstrates the added value of mediation and integrated conflict management systems within organisations. - Harvard Program on Negotiation (PON).
Recent findings confirm that conflict resolution skills can be developed and that independent mediation leads to more sustainable solutions and stronger working relationships.